Saturday, 1 October 2016

Why do Indian boys need their parents to find a girl for them? Aren't boys capable to find the one themselves whom they love?


‘Marriage is a lifetime commitment - a commitment of trust, mutual respect and love.’
India has a system of arranged marriage which has been proven to be effective. Irrespective of religion arranged marriage is the norm.
Marriage is just the beginning, the life ahead proves its success and failure.
In India Love marriage culture is largely a gift from Bollywood. It is only as late as the 1980s that love marriages became remotely acceptable. Inter caste marriages and inter religious love marriages can still elicit considerably strong reactions in Indian society. Those who want a Love marriage is still a minority and the rest of us are quite happy the way it is.
INDIAN YOUTH & MARRIAGE
The Taj Group of Hotels, Mumbai, conducted a survey in 2013 called The Taj Wedding Barometer. The survey reveals that about 75 percent of young Indians prefer arranged marriages. This data highlights the fact that about 82 percent Indian women, despite all the progress, want their families to settle on a suitable groom for them. Similarly, the young men and women of North India were more inclined to settle into an arranged marriage (82 percent) than the youth of the southern states. Changing hues Of Indian marriages
A 2013 IPSOS survey found that 74% of young Indians (18-35 years old) prefer an arranged marriage over a free-choice one. Other sources report that as many as 90% of all Indian marriages are arranged.
How does a modern Indian arranged marriage work?
Even today, a vast majority of Indians and Indian Americans, many of them among the highest educated and westernized strata, choose an arranged marriage over a free-choice one.
A typical modern arranged marriage works as follows. For both men and women, the individual’s parents or older family members screen for and find prospective mates for further consideration through their social circle, community, or by advertising on matrimonial websites or newspapers. There is an initial meeting in a family gathering, after which the couple has a few opportunities for chaperoned courtship. At this point if neither party has vetoed the match and if they are so inclined, they may spend some time together alone. And then it is time to make the decision. It is not unusual for the process from initial introduction to the final yes/ no decision to unfold within a few days.
SATISFACTION IN MARRIAGE
A recent study of relationship outcomes among Indian-American couples married either through free-choice or arranged marriages for about a decade found absolutely no differences . Those in arranged marriages were just as satisfied with their marriage and loved their partner as intensely as those who wed through free-choice. Other studies have found similar results. Despite criticism of self-selection and small sample sizes leveled against some of these studies, this is the best available evidence and it suggests that Indian arranged marriages are at least as successful as free-choice ones.
DIVORCE RATE
Is American model the best one for us to imitate?
Divorce statistics says NO.
What makes the divorce rate in India compared to the divorce rate in America so much lower when the rate of divorce has increased internationally over the decades? The statistics for 1990 show the number of divorces granted in India averaged 74 out of 1,000 marriages or a percentage rate of 7.4. The rise in divorce has now climbed to 100 out of 1,000 or a 10% rate. Even with this number of divorces India has one of the lowest rates of divorce in the world.
While the numbers in 2011 for Americans are at a much higher rate averaging 19.4% and estimates from reliable resources think approximately half of all current marriages are expected to end in divorce (Raley & Bumpass 2003.) According to a study by the National Center for Family Research and Marriage there are almost 2 marriages for every divorce.
Why the Divorce Rate in India is Lower
  1. The lower divorce rate in India can be attributed to religious beliefs of the Hindu faith where marriage is considered to be a holy sacrament rather than a contract between two people. It is part of Indian culture and people of all religions follow this.
  2. In arranged marriage is between two families and not two individuals, hence if any dispute arise between partners family comes for rescue.
  3. When families choose a mate they will have a criteria that includes what family’s history,caste,religion etc of the potential spouse comes first. Any alliance that does not meet the criteria is rejected.
  4. Their income and social status are important considerations as well as age, height, weight and even their astrological signs are used to help find good compatibility. It is decision made by brain than by mind.
  5. Once they are married couples will often remain in the relationship just to protect the honor of the two families. In due course they mend the issues and lead a happy life.
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