Why are Indian children so scared of protesting against their parents?

Most Indian parents live for their kids. Their child is their world for each parent. They care for us and take major life decisions on our behalf. Most of us are Okay with it and don’t have an issue.

But there is another side for this story which says why Children are scared of their parents.

The primary reason is

• Log kya kahenge/Rat race

We are in a rat race there is no escaping it. There is neighbors son, cousin whom you are always compared with. They are the bench marks for our life decisions.

Even if you protest in most cases those voices will go unheard.

Our value systems contribute to it.

• “Matha Pitha Guru Deivam” which is a very popular adage or phrase in Sanskrit.

This might feel bit odd, as it is one think we all adhere to. Irrespective of religion,caste, language we Indians have it in our collective unconscious.

Transalated word for word, it is, “Mother Father Teacher God”. The meaning of this adage is the greatest truth, and is the order in which one should offer reverence. The phrase is a basic tenet in existence from the time of the Vedas and beyond and represents the hierarchy in which one should respect these entities.It is taught to children at a very tender age. Not directly in a philosophical way but through deeds we convey this idea.

Which means we are bound to respect every one. With respect comes obedience; a total submission to your parents authority. In many case more than love for your parent the respect comes first.

Then comes our parenting style.

• The authoritarian parenting style had been followed by most Indian parents(it is changing).

Parents with an authoritarian style have very high expectations of their children, yet provide very little in the way of feedback and nurturance. Mistakes tend to be punished harshly. Both physical and verbal abuse happens.

The result is Children fear their parents.

• We are financially dependent on the parents.

Financial dependency have an effect on freedom. They take care of us till we are 20–22yr old(in west they start earning from 15- 16 )

This brings obligation to do according to our parents wish. They have been taking all decisions and has invested on you. So they continue with the act of making the choices our career, spouse etc.

• Join family system

In joint families(mostly patrarchal) the elders take the decision, women and children had no say in matters. The join family system had gone extinct but the decision making style is still continued.

• Chance than Choice.

Can see so many who sacrificed their passion and chose the safest/more lucrative jobs. Same applied for marriage decision.

Since parents we don’t want to hurt our parents feeling we obey the choices they make.

Did you land up in your career/profession by choice or by chance?